Avengers Next: Rebirth – Tom DeFalco

Toward the end of this story one of the villains says “You humans talk too much!” That’s pretty much my impression of this book. Basically a bunch of characters I have never heard of, who are mostly the offspring of people I have heard of, are teamed up to fight some villains I don’t care about while the rest of the Marvel Universe is off fighting Galactus.

I can just imagine some Marvel executive shouting “more money!” at the top of his voice and so some unknown writers have to cobble together a super team with all the fat wheezy kids that were last to get picked for lunchtime football. When you are making a meal from leftovers you can discover some unique taste or fresh ideas. Sadly the only thing that emerges is the ‘forced-witty-one-liners-o-meter’ goes of the scale as these wise-cracking teenagers act like they’re on speed.

Because I have no idea who these people are I can’t be amazed by any dramatic revelations in their past or whatever. Unlike say Michael Straczynski’s Squadron Supreme there is no deep thought, weighty issue or high concept. This is Marvel’s equivalent of fast food or elevator music or even daytime TV. It’s bland – the very personification of “chewing gum for the eyes.” But it does make sense; it flows well with good pacing and neat little twists and turns.

The art is perfectly serviceable but obscured by the huge amounts of supposedly comedic dialogue. There is nothing wrong with it, but it’s no V for Vendetta, No thumbs today, neither up nor down.

12/353. Tomorrow: Tozzer & the Invisible Lap Dancers – Rob Dunlop & Peter Lumby

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